全部正直に子どもたちには私に起こったことを話してて、
I have been telling my children what happened to me honestly.
私がふられたことも知ってる8歳の息子に
My 8 years old son knows that I have been refused when I asked the person to go out with me.
「ママー、新しい人と付き合ってから離婚すればよかったじゃん！彼女にしてもらえるかわかんないんだから。」
My son said to me that "mama you should have had boyfriend before you divorce".
って言われて、
すごい笑った（笑）
I laughed.
だけど、私がすぐに元旦那に話したのは、
but the reason that I told my ex-husband about it was not for me.
自分のためじゃなくて、
元旦那の気持ちを考えたから。
I was thinking about my ex-husband's emotion.
十何年も一緒にいた人が、
If your partner who spent over 10 years with you crushed on someone else suddenly,
他に好きな人が出来ちゃったのに、
if the partner hide the fact and acting like she or he still likes you...
隠して自分を好きなように振る舞われたら。。。
その時の私は、
私が反対だったら、そんなひどい裏切りはない！と思った。 I thought, at that time, it's a betrayal not telling him the truth.
だから隠してる期間をなるべく短くしたかった。
So I wanted to make the time of hiding shorten.
そんな優しさは伝わるはずもなく（笑）
Obviously he didn't get it as kindness.
不倫してると思われて、
He right away thought I was already cheating on him.
いろんな人に私の好きな人の名前を口外されて、
And he told lots of people the name of the person I like,
駆け落ちした。なんて噂になってしまったわけだけど💧 Rumors that me and the guy ran away and living together already spread out in the town.
そして、その好きになった人には世間体や堅い職業柄、それを乗り越えられないとふられたわけだけど☺ And the guy didn't want to go out with me because of the stigmatization and his job which he believes that he needs to be a role model for children at all time.
家庭を壊しちゃったとも思ってるだろうし、He would have thought that he destroyed one happy family.
私の子供達を傷つけちゃったとも思ってるだろうし、
He would have thought that he hurt my children.
子供との時間を邪魔したくないとも思ってるだろうし、
Now, he must be thinking that he doesn't want to disturb the time between me and my children.
恋愛自体苦手だろうし、
I think he is not good at handling these romance kind of thing anyway.
わかるから、それでいい。
I totally understand them. So I am OK with as it is.
